Unforgiveness

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.—EPHESIANS 4:32 NASB 

Forgiveness is the only way forward. We might believe that, but it isn’t always easy to do it, especially not right away after hurt visits. Don’t let people or religiosity make you feel guilty because it doesn’t happen in an instant. Deliverance isn’t magic. And forgiveness can become a self-defeating obsession, especially when everyone is telling you over and over how you have to forgive, but no one tells you how to do it. Actually, forgiveness isn’t about focusing on forgiveness. You’ll feel like the right thing to do is pray about what happened to you. That’s a trap. Here’s the thing: we have to shift from simply praying about the problem and instead start visualizing the solution.  

The key to forgiveness is to shift from the pain to focusing on the future, promise, and possibility. Focusing on things above lifts us out of the ditch of despair and disappointment. Ask God to give you a new vision of yourself and make you a woman able to walk in forgiveness and trust, not bitterness. Pray for what you want to come to you. Don’t keep rehearsing what’s already been removed! We must keep committing to dumping out of our hearts the dirt left over by others. When we replay our worst memories, we re-wound our self-esteem and re-anchor ourselves in the past. Replaying, masked as trying to forgive, is why it can be incredibly hard to get unstuck.  

Stop setting a time line. Be patient with yourself, yet still be intentional about how you approach each day. Stay focused daily on moving forward and onto a bigger vision and purpose. This is a better investment of your energy and puts you on the path of healing and elevation. 

Instead of trying to forgive what happened to you, how can you focus forward on the bigger vision that God has for you? 

Lord, I accept what I can’t explain and ask for a vision bigger than blame. I speak life into what I seek, not what I’ve seen. AMEN. 

Marshawn Evans Daniels 
100 Days of Believing Bigger 

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