Doubt in the Wreckage

Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else? (Matthew 11:3 NLT)

My son turned toward me with an empty drinking glass in hand, ready to quench his thirst. Somehow the glass was let loose. It slipped from his fingers like a ghost. I watched his eyes pop like a puffer fish as the blue Ball jar transformed into a million shards and flew across every inch of our slate tile kitchen floor.

Sometimes life feels like standing in a room surrounded by sharp splinters and rough-edged remnants of what was.

There was a season when it seemed like everywhere I looked, I saw those same shards of glass. I didn’t know where to step or how to move forward. If I’m honest, I doubted God’s care and closeness. I wondered why He didn’t move the way I thought He should. I wished He would just fix things and let me check the mending. I wondered how I could keep offering the world around me the message of living water when all the glasses I’d carry it in kept breaking.

Throughout those months, God reminded me that I come from a long spiritual line of those who question Him and struggle. Of those who were told to cast out their nets again in the morning after the night left their hope empty and their hearts weary. Of those who offered the little bread and fish they had, then watched Him feed and fill a multitude. Of those who poured extravagant love at His feet and those who at first refused to let Him clean their feet. Of those who spent their lives preparing the way for a King they were devoted to, only to come to an end they didn’t expect and to ask a question they never thought they would ask: “Are you the one we’ve been waiting for, or should we be waiting for someone else?”

Pick up one jagged piece and then another, He whispered back to me in the kitchen that day. I’m not afraid of your doubt or the broken glass.

Grace always weaves its way in and through the wreckage and the wounds. Doubt doesn’t mean disbelief. The questions can lead us to God’s presence. Our doubt can deepen our intimacy.

Prayer:

Lord, in my doubt, bring me closer to Your heart. Pick up my broken pieces and mend them while I trust in Your work and healing hands. Lead me to Your presence and peace. Amen.

This is an excerpt from Take Heart: 100 Devotions to Seeing God When Life’s Not Okay by (in)courage  - a devotional book now available on DaySpring.com. Learn more about this book, or shop other books & devotionals from DaySpring.